6 months

October 7, 2012

6 months have passed. Many things have stayed the same. A few have changed. My beard is larger, a friend and two cousins got married, I actually went to one moped rally. The burrito shop is literally two weeks from opening. I will be working full time.

The next few months will be really interesting!



April 23, 2012

My parents gave me a gift of more travel for my birthday. A 4 day cruise through the Caribbean to Mexico. What an adventure. The boat is big. I’m just living on a floating hotel, bar, restaurant , game room, fitness center. Well You get the idea. Wild stuff for every one. I’m enjoying the cruise lifestyle. Very much. I could picture me and a few friends having a great time. Everything is free except booze. But thats ok. Ive meet some really nice people my age. And some older. Ever up dancing with a lady. That’s right a lady. She was a little less than twice my age. But if she was my age she would have been out of my league. Very cute. The second night I went to the same bar. She was there and didn’t want to dance with me. Her loss. Its after 1am we dock in Mexico tomorrow. At the bar this night I ran into a group of kids my age who I played against in dodgeball earlier in the afternoon. The one girl I beamed in the face with a dodge ball so I bought her a drink. Turns out they travel on cruises like us northerner to ski trips. If I counted my ski days it would equal their cruise days. They liked me instantly. They knew I was easy to tAlk to and very out going. The one was effing me on to talk to a girl. He said you seem like the type of guy who can talk to any one. I thanked him for that. What a compliment I have known this guy for less than an hour and he knew I was ready to talk to people. Maybe because I talked to him
Who knows. I’m goong to have fun in Mexico tomorrow. No matter what. Mom is scared we will get kidnaped. But I don’t think so. Good might. 4/20

Quarter century

April 18, 2012


Today is the day. 25 years ago this day I was born. Ce out of my moms womb and into this world. I’m sure that day I did a lot of crying and sleeping. Well this day is going to. E just like that. But with a little less crying and a lot more traveling. Right now as I’m typing this I am on a plane heading south to Tampa Florida. From Tampa I will be getting on a cruise ship to venture through the gulf of mexico. Cozumel Mexico is the port of call for this cruise. For 9 long months I was traveling where ever my mom went. So this is a little pay back mom. I’m taking you with me on this trip. We are going to ball out so hard. What an adventure so far to get to the airport I took a train then a taxi. Now I’m flying through the air awaiting my landing in Tampa to see my parents. My brother and his wife will be there shortly after me. Aisle always on a plane for me. With such long legs anything else is just torture. If the chair back in front of me goes back game over!! My knees are in your lower back the whole flight sorry lady. Can’t help it. So this really old guy gets wheel chaired to the gate. Normal I’m saying to myself old dude Florida wheelchair they go together. But what did go s this 80+ year old man who could barely walk rolled up in style on a really nice airport wheel hair holding a 350$ fly fishing rod and reel sealed up in its protective case. Wow I said. This guy balls so hard. Cant walk but still enjoys his trips up north to fly fish. I know all this because he was the first to board and I was last. Just so happened he is in my row. Window seat row 15. I’m aisle. And a dude with huge arms and a big gut is pushing us apart. So my knees are bashed my back is a “c” shape from the awkward arm pressure middle seat is exerting overall great flight. I keep farting. Screw it. If these people just have no rules of comfort for others then I guess I can too. I never put the chair back. I know how it feels to have that shoved in your face. Even if it’s a tiny person. I just don’t do it. Whats an extra 4 degrees of angle. Who needs it. I sure dont. Only an hour left in the flight the music on my phone has repeated 3 times already. I feel asleep during take off. Started up my music when I got knee bashed. I only have 6 songs on the iPod portion of my phone. Total gems. A male stuart on this flight. First time for me that I can remember. And boy I won’t forget this dude is straight weird looking. Very nice though. Just weird looking. Designer glasses light blue shirt monogrammed apron with his name sewn in!! The glasses, he has them at the end of his nose and just looks over them at you. Not for reading not for seeing far away, just for the over the top look. He is wearing a womens watch. Must fit his small wrist better , nice watch but I’m sure it’s a women’s. They must look to hire small people. The aisle is so small and the height of the plane is questionable at best for anyone over my height. First class looks fun. Put them on the plane they paid more. You get on wait in first class till coach settles down, no smiles. Nothing from these people. Could be be because I just farted. But that was when I entered the plane. Oh no vapor trail!! But why no smiles. I don’t no I guess never flew first class. Money Must make you pissed. Always loosing it in huge business decisions. I’m glad I don’t have much money I’m happy all the time! Being in row 15 I have about 6-8 different iPads/computers I can watch. 7 years in Tibet next to me. Spreadsheets up front and a few digital card games are being played. Oh I would have folded mister u don’t have anything in that hand. That theme on that spreadsheet is hard on the eyes sir let me show u the one I would choose. Oh excuse me miss do you mind Turing on the subtitles. Great thanks. Water is being consumed at an alarming rate. Very dry air on this plane. Not many bathroom breaks yet. But we will see plenty of time left. Oh And we have reached that time in the flight where everyone thinks we are all family now And it’s ok to take off your shoes. Great yea you bought your ticket a day before me were like brothers let those dogs out. Oh yea there stinking but it’s ok we’re brothers now. We helped each other jam the over head door closed destroying my valuable beard and mustache comb. Oh well it’s my birthday in 365 days you can get me a new one then as a gift. Great thanks. My flight soundtrack is now on play 10 I’m on Elton John tiny dancer. Oh. Now the bladders are filling up my brothers and sisters are standing. Using my chair back as big supporter of their weight as they walk by. I pay no mind after all we are all a big breath swapping foot sniffing farting smell family. Mine as well take on all the other privileges that comes with that. Oh you need to borrow money sure brother. Your in first class you say and you just lost it big in the stock market. Bummer well here is all my weeks earnings looks like you’ll need it more. What no smile on your face. Oh the 100$ I gave u wasn’t enough. Oh well I’m happy with or with out it. You take it blow it on drugs and hookers what do I care I won’t judge you. I didn’t when you flung your chair into my knees or took off your fancy shoes reveling the fancy pungent odor that was bottled up in there. Must be the stress sweat from all the big business you do.
40 min left. Movies are climaxing card games are turning into angry birds and fruit ninja. Bathroom breaks are more frequent from my older brothers and sisters . Irritable bowel is a bitch and is close cousin over active bladder could have dire consequence . But hey let me lend a hand after all were family. Yes sure no problem I’ll wait while you defile the bathroom with your fiber rich shit. I’ll just stay out here enjoying the foot smell. Such a wild time. We are making our decent me nieces and nephews are screaming with pain. My ears have never felt like this in my life. What a pain. When I land the first thing I do Is stay seated. Why stand. For what. 14 rows Infront of me have to de plane. I know we are all family but I find it rude to stand and stare as some one wrestles their bag out of tr over head. Wait let me help you. Oh your a very powerful women and don’t need help. Ok well we will see if you are in the family Christmas card this year. Out into the air port. A new place for some. Old news for me. Baggage claim what is that. I travel light just my yoga mat and a few tank tops. Suns out guns out. Underwear and socks too. Don’t worry. Quick and easy travel. What a growing experience.
Well I’m hoping to update frequently. Well see.

Dedicated to
Raught n’ apples







Just down to your underware

April 11, 2012

I am at the dermatologist right now. And the nurse had me strip down to my underwear. I was thinking immediately about onsies. I’ll on one price underwear with the butt flap. On I’m ready for u to look at my body as I stand there in one piece underwear standing tall awaiting the doctor to put on those weird glasses and turn around to see me exactly how the nurse told me to be. Just down to my underware


Endless Vacation :(but its not)

January 28, 2012

endless vacation….  but really im not on vacation. i have no job.. im just living my life on the road.. left my house on the 1st of the year have not been back since.  i have done some of the coolest shit in my entire life so far.  i cant wait to do more cool shit.. now im just in perryopolis pa working on audis with Pat.  replaced brakes on a q7 yesterday.  alternator on an a4 today, steering rack on another a4 tomorrow.  i cant beleive it .. i figured by now i would want to be home..i do miss my friends but i have made so many new ones its crazy.  Patrick and I have done some really fun stuff the past 28 days.  We only returned from our trip on the 24th.  since then we have continued the fun in western PA.


Skication : Vegas baby

January 19, 2012


Made a mandatory trip to Vegas. With las Vegas only being 425 miles from SLC we had to go. We ended up going to the after party for the AVN awards. It was a blast.



Skication : update snow

January 16, 2012

Finally got a few inches of snow. So we are heading to snowbird should be a fun day. With a few inches already on the ground and it continues to snow it’s hard to say if there will be alt of people. The highlight is going to be the tram ride to the top of hidden peak.

We have been having a great time. Two days ago we drove up to Ogden Utah and skied powder mountain.